Upside down frown

Like any human being, I have days when I feel everything crumbling around me, when everything seems so dark and gloomy and negative thoughts haunt my mind. But other days are just so fulfilling, so energizing, so amazing that the only thing they trigger are a flood of beautiful emotions, hope and love. I live for those days, just as I live for the people that mean most to me and the ones I love the most. A few bad days are worth living through for the breath-taking emotions that follow. Because if it weren’t for the bad days, you wouldn’t be as grateful for the good ones. Negativity is necessary for realizing that good exists. So live through the bad days, embrace them, learn from them, remember them, but never get caught up in them. Never remain in the dark sphere of your mind and let pessimistic thoughts consume you. Love all you are and all you are given.

Overconsumption

Breathe. Rest. Control your thoughts. Free your mind. Love. Live. Laugh. A few scientific recommendations that we are given for a happy life. We see this advice on social media, blogs and in books. It seems so facile, you couldn’t even doubt the fact that it doesn’t always work. I mean, how hard can it be to free your mind from dark, dark places? I’ll tell you. It’s terribly difficult. It tires you. It exhausts you. It nearly finishes you. That is if you’re so sensitive, you start crying when someone you love changes their tone of voice. If you’re so sensitive that you feel torn down when something goes wrong. I wish I could be like others, that can sleep their thoughts away. I can’t even sleep if something is bothering me. It’s so difficult to keep a smile on your face, to be okay, to not take everything to heart. Especially other people’s actions. I’m trying to not let myself get blown away into the dangerous zone of overconsumption, but I’m so light. My soul is too light, too full of love, so free of hate, too kind and tender-hearted, too forgiving. It is not healthy to be so light at soul, to not see negative in others, to not want to see the negative in others, to ignore it completely, just for the sake of not being hurt. I feel lost.

Demons on one shoulder, Angels on the other

I’m at a point in my teenage years, a point where I realize it’s exhausting to consistently stay positive, to always be bright, with a sincere smile on my face. It is exhausting to always perceive the glass as “half full”, not “half empty”, to always retell only the fun parts of your day, to unfailingly demonstrate and act as though your mind is in a state of pure bliss. The mental strength I had built up over the years, captured beautifully from amazing books and wonderfully wise people, was never enough to help the anxiety present inside my mind. It’s a tender age, it’s facile to let negativity control you, it’s a strenuous task to overcome it. All of us are in the hands of a demon..or an angel. It is our choice who we choose to listen to and who we choose to let take control. You may be thinking “without doubt the angel should take control”. NO! YOU should take control of yourself. We tend to rely on others for happiness, but no one will ever make you truly happy if you can’t make yourself happy first. You will be hurt. You will be disappointed. You will tear yourself down. You will become so consumed by others’ actions, that you will be oblivious to your hobbies and past-times. Other people only make the demons in your mind reproduce themselves, they will feed them, without even meaning to. Your job is to smother the demons, to stamp on them, to not give them the power to control your world and affect it unrepairably. Go out with your friends. Do that thing you’ve always wanted to. Read a great book. Watch a Disney movie. Eat a burger with fries. Stop procrastinating. Go to Greece. Visit your parents. Call an old flame. Buy a dog. Watch a sunrise. Savour a sunset. Just through this small amount of motivation I have transmitted onto you, demons have been killed. Angels have risen.

Is it just fantasy?

The hike on rocky mountain roads begins

You’re probably wondering about the title of my first post ever. I could have used the simple word “journey” or “road”, but I chose “hike”. Why? Because hiking is much harder than sitting on a bus or in the car, during a journey. It is much more wearying than walking on a road. It requires patience, balance and a special amount of strength. The unique soul inside each of us can be envisioned in exactly the same manner as what I mentioned above. It’s easy at the beginning of the climb, as a child, when we are oblivious to all the awful truths of life, but as you continue up the steep slopes, you run out of breath, you sweat, your stomach hurts, you are thirsty. But what about when you’re thirsty for love, for tenderness, for affection? It is effortless to fall into the trap of letting others be your guide to happiness. This is where balance comes into my story. It is unimaginably facile to let unnecessary thoughts take control of our mind, when we don’t even have evidence to support negative feelings. Patience. Pushing the overwhelming thoughts aside. Strength. These are all important factors that need to be fulfilled for a state of bliss inside ourselves, when we are all alone in our rooms at night, the time it is easiest to commit suicide inside, without visible scars. Do you wish to finish the climb, for the breathtaking view? Or are you going to stop midway and give up? At the end of your life do you wish to look back and see a breathtaking story or a blank canvas? Unhappiness is a trap out of which it’s madly hard to climb. Embrace moments.

March 2018, a sky with a story worth telling ⏳